o8o 
                                `"' 
ooo. .oo.  .oo.    .ooooo.     oooo 
`888P"Y88bP"Y88b  d88' `88b    `888 
 888   888   888  888   888     888 
 888   888   888  888   888     888 
o888o o888o o888o `Y8bod8P'     888 
                                888 
                            .o. 88P 
                            `Y888P  

~~ who ~~

Honestly? I don't know.

It no longer feels like it's my place to say.

I'll leave it for you to decide.

~~ communicate ~~

one-on-one moj@sdf.org
soapbox @moj@mastodon.sdf.org
hotline SDF Phone x2239

4am Tea

Published: 05 Feb 2022

Sometimes, when I tilt my head, squint my eyes, and look at my life, I see a monk, or maybe a hermit. This is not to say “a monk living a monk’s life” or “a hermit living a hermit’s life;” rather, it’s a monk who woke up in media res, married with children, with work, obligations, habits, and so forth, and is charged with making sense of it all.

So around 4am, I wake spontaneously for Vigil: some quiet contemplation and, on a chilly morning like today, a cup of tea. The water boiler has already done the heavy lifting; all I have to do is to select a mug and a packet of tea, then be patient. We know how it’s done, yes?

And when I moved to tear the packet open this morning, it resisted.

That’s when I woke up.

Flip it over and tear from the other side? Maybe coffee instead? Suddenly, the the outcome of the rest of the day, and maybe life itself, hinged entirely on this decision, on this very moment…

Or maybe that’s when I fell back asleep.

The books of koans may seem extraordinary or mysterious, but it’s the everyday koans that’ll kick your ass.

Happy Saturday