I heard there was a kerfuffle in Wednesday’s morning meeting. I heard it from the project’s lead. He stands there so we don’t have to – and quite possibly so that we don’t. After all, who knows what we’d say? Herding cats.

So the lead wasn’t up to speed on all the details of my projects. He’s got the gist, but not the details. And when confronted? A simple deflection – “I’ll ask moj.” Other times, though, when directly challenged? The default position emerges: Diffuse. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

Confusion ensues. The customer’s position is validated. We’re derailed.

But every so often, I stand in at those meetings… Thursday was one of those days. I gave the updates, and for that one issue I stated my recommendation that a complex task be broken into a few smaller ones so that a key capability could be moved forward without the other lesser details holding it back.

Enter The Bully.

The Bully? Maybe a politician. Maybe just aggressive. He’s got a team and he’s arguing for them. He’s not down in the weeds; he’s hearing from his people. Some of those people are very busy with their “day jobs;” our work building things to support them is not their number-one priority. And when things go long and the stretches between contacts extend, … yeah.

The Bully was at the heart of yesterday’s kerfuffle. The Bully went nuts on hearing my response, which undoubtedly differed from that from the day before.

… and I shut ~ him ~ down. Very directly. In front of his people and in front of his peers. I told him he was out of line and that his language was fundamentally unhelpful. And I told him his baby is ugly: His people, for whatever reasons, are holding back our work. “It’s all logged; just read it. Here, let me show you.”

“But we know it’s because they are busy. And so are we. And that’s why my suggestion is to make this easier for all of us, to give your people the capability they want right now, moving all the other questions to later when they’re available and can focus on this lesser duty.”

“Huh… Agreed. Let’s do that.”

Maybe someone who just appreciates direct language and confrontational debate. I mean, the same may have been said about me as well in the past… Maybe I had a few more years to learn that that was, on average, not a helpful leadership style.

And of course they might be stabbing me in the back as I speak – who knows? All I know is that more than one contacted me quietly to thank me for handling the situation as I did.